Saturday, April 2, 2011
Xander is 2 months today!!
Our baby X is 2 months today. We are happy and sad all at the same time about this. Happy because we still have him here with us and sad because we have only got to have him home 20 days out of the 60 days, but those 20 days were wonderful, and the rest from here on out will be just as great. Now on to his progress. Xander is doing MUCH better today, since he was int abated again his stats have gone back up they have him on some high settings as of right now but decided that after what they did yesterday to him they were going to leave all things alone for a couple of days and let him do things as he would like ( ok people i have been saying that to you for how many days?) Anyways I received a call from his cardi doctor today, he had just gotten back from being out of town for a week and saw that Xander was still there and went to get a report on what had happened over that week, needless to say he was not the happiest with some people and has definitely made me feel much calmer now knowing that he back and has taken control of things. I advised him that i was told that they may want to do a BRONC come Monday i he has not made any progress. His doctor squished that one right away which i absolutely love. He stated that we will do that if by next weekend we are not improving but he stated that after going over everything this past week and Xander being blessed with 2 nasty viruses that he is fighting off he is doing very well with getting better and that he is right on track of getting better, he as so have i stated to the other doctors that he is not going to be a 1 week case and then be better, instead Xander could be a 3 week case. All i know is that i happy that he is back. I was beating myself up pretty bad last night and this morning for not saying NO when i that voice telling me to, but i got a text this afternoon telling me that I was not allowed to beat myself up over this and that we always get a freebie to allow ourselves to see what we need to do in those situations. They also wrote that i could not dwell on what could have happened cause it will only cause me more hurt. Those texts helped me more than anything today, just reading those, knowing that this special person knew me so well that they felt they needed to tell me DON'T YOU DARE beat yourself up about this made me calm, made me realize that they are right i am only human and i have other obstacles that will come down this road that i will now not overlook that feeling, last night was my freebie and ye i learned from it. I want this person to know that I love them and thank you for being there and saying what you did you may never really understand how that helped SO much today! We will move on from here and keeping moving on as Xander continues to teach me about his beautiful message he was sent her to give us.