SAY IT!

Have you ever had a moment in your day that you just knew you should have said what you wanted to say but yet did not and just went with what the other person was saying or what ever it may be that was going on at that time? Well I had one of those moments today and it was something I should have listened to and not kept my mouth shut this time around. Let me explain; Today I was told by Xanders nurse that they would be ext abating him since he was having "such a good day " and that he did well on his ONE spontaneous room air test for 30 minutes, this is when i got this feeling telling me NO don't do that he's not ready for that ventilator to come out yet, but as i was getting ready to say something i was then told by the nurse that the attending doctor was impressed with how his #'s were and felt that it was a good time. This was not a NEW doc so she knew his sensitive case and everything. So needless to say i pushed that feeling away but yet it never went away. At 7:30pm I received a call from Doctor Shattler ( one that has been with xander since we came in last Thursday and who has also seen him in the CICU area), of course my heart dropped, its always been the nurses who called NEVER a doctor. She stated to me that she was just coming on for the night and was pulled in to my room by night nurse ( MINDY) who as well had just gotten there. She advised me that we were going to lose Xander if we did not int abate him again so of course i went in to tears and said get it done NOW. Once everything calmed and he was int abated once more she called me to go over why this had happened. When Mindy came on she noticed that Xander was struggling to breath. He was breathing 101 times a minute he was becoming lethargic he was sweating and he was losing color, instead of getting a report from the day nurse she pulled Doctor Shattler in and that is when everything went into action. I knew i should have spoken up I knew that he was not ready but yet i did not say anything. I am Extremely upset about all of this and very upset with the day doctor for pushing him so fast. As of late tonight Xander is now stable and is doing better, his color is back and he not so lethargic. I have been advised by Doctor Shattler that she will be the one to discuss with the doctors on how many sponatious tests need to be done before we extabat again. I could have lost my baby tonight but because i have an awesome and alert nurse and a fast acting doctor, he is still here healing and waiting to come back home with us, but to everyone when you have that feeling that something needs to be said, SAY IT, don't worry about what may be thought or said  or done after saying it just SAY IT, cause you never know what may happen if you don't.